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17-Apr-2021
Open letter to an aggressive atheist friend I'm cutting off as I become more religious
For years I´ve been friends with a guy who was raised in an abusive Christian community, and I know he really hates Christianity as a result. At some point he also became an atheist. I really thought he was trying to move away from his anti-religious attitude by dealing with his trauma, but apparently not.
Some backstory: My family background is pretty secular (ex-Catholic dad, Jewish mom), I´ve been hurt a lot by conservative Christians for being bi and trans, and I was also very angry at religion (nebulously defined) for a long time. I started reading the Tanakh and about Judaism in general in adulthood, and was actually pleasantly surprised from what I found. I feel like learning from and about Judaism gives me a new understanding of the world. You (general you) might find that elsewhere, and that´s OK, but my own religion is a living one and very important to me.
To my friend: I get that religious people in your life have hurt you. *I am not one of those religious people.* I don´t even share the same religion or political ideology with those people. If I have hurt you in any way, I am sorry. I do not disrespect that you are an atheist and am not interested in changing your mind on that. You have your reasons, and none of them are my business.
But if you´re going to say ignorant, borderline hateful things about my culture and practices and beliefs, or the sacred writings that are part of *my* religion (not just Christianity), no shit I´m gonna be mad at you. Not just because what you´re saying is offensive, but because you´re factually flat-out *wrong.* If you care so much about being enlightened about the Bible, maybe you should learn from people (of whatever religious orientation) who actually study it. And no, I don´t feel I´m missing out by not eating bacon - something which, by the way, you didn´t make *any* fuss about when the only reason I didn´t eat bacon is because I was (and still am) vegan.
My religion is not driving a wedge between us. I´m not becoming irrational or intolerant by choosing to believe in God. No, the reason why we can´t be friends right now is because *you* are stubbornly hiding behind your trauma to justify your hatred. I don´t deserve to be treated that way, regardless of the horrible things you´ve gone through in the past.
I wish you nothing but healing and well-being, but I simply cannot call our recent interactions "friendship" if this is what you´re going to make of them.
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