Pen Mask - The truly private bulletin board for everybody and anything

I have feelings, I’m not some emotionless sociopath or anything out of the ordinary. But it has been bothering me so much lately that I can’t get emotionally attached to anyone. Friends, family, my new relationship... I know I love and care for these people but when it comes to emotional attachment I am not there at all. When it comes to family members it sounds horrible but I could not care less about them besides my mom and my dad. I could go weeks without seeing my friends and it wouldn’t phase me. I don’t cling on to anyone, and it makes me feel heartless. I lost my virginity to my new boyfriend last week and didn’t feel any emotional connection after. It’s not because I don’t like him, because I do. And I was under the impression women get wildly attached after sex but of course when it comes to me I can’t. What’s my problem? Why can’t I feel bonds with people? I WANT to feel connected emotionally. It’s like I know I love them but if they left my life I wouldn’t even care. I don’t feel anything at all. I’m sure somewhere down the line I developed this as a defense mechanism but I feel like I’m heartless and crazy. I wish I could be different.