Pen Mask - The truly private bulletin board for everybody and anything

This was 5 years ago so my memory is very vague as to what happend fully. When I had just turned 19 me and my girlfriend had been having sex regularly for nearly a year. She was always one who like me to take control and was very quiet and nervous when it came to sex becuase she felt insecure in how she looked and how she made me feel. I tried my best to show her that was not true but she was always hesitant.

    Anyway she bad been on birth control for about a month and had done so without me asking her to do it for extra safety. We had just had sex and where lying together and I asked since you are on those maybe we dont really need to use condoms anymore. I dont recall the conversation we had I think she was hesitant and very nervous about it with me being pushy and reassuring being like it will be okay.

    What worries me is I didnt wait for her to flat out say yes and we just got into position. I just worry I just assumed her hesitation was not a flat out no and before I put it in I think I said somthing like are you ready. I dont know if she nodded or said anything but we did it and afterwards everything was fine. We didnt use condoms for the next two months we stayed together and she never mentioned anything about it.

    When we broke up however when she was angry with me she told me I didnt appreciate her letting me have sex without condoms and it was a big deal for her. She said I should have spent more time with her and put more effort in since she was willing to do stuff like thay for me. A few months after thay however she told me she enjoyed sex and being with me and that she liked making me feel good during sex.

    Again my memeory is vague but I really worry when we had that convo and then got into position i didnt hear or get a flat out yes from her and rather took her silence as being a bit nervous but not unwilling. I was such a stupid teenager back then and at 25 if this is what went down I would feel like a monster.

    I still talk to my ex fairly regularly the past 5 years and halepr her out when her new boyfriend was being too aggressive and destroyed her door. We are on fairly good terms however she bad always tried to push for us to get back together for a while a few months after the breakup.